Thursday, January 14, 2010

Nectar of the Gods!

Sweet Jesus (Mary, and Joseph, so I'm not speaking in vain), there is a God!  To all of my bronchially challenged friends, those who get stricken with bronchitis, uppper respiratory infections, or laryngitis every frickin' year, I give you, Tussionex Suspension.

You know how it is, you spend a couple of days hackin' up some pretty nasty stuff, (I swear I saw my parasitic twin once), and then you're left with this dry, hacky cough that seems to last f-o-r-e-v-e-r.  And the worst part is those "attack coughs", when you're either trying to sleep, or engaging in casual conversation, and then WHAM!  All of a sudden you become an incubus of bubonic plague, offending everyone around you, sending them running for the hills.  But I have to say that not being able to sleep thru the night, b/c of the 'tickle' in the back of your throat that sends you thru constant coughing spirals, is the worst! 

Enter this wonderful elixir.  If you can beg, borrow, and plead w/ your doctor to write a script for this, you will suffer no more.  And why is it so hard to come by?  Well, first of all, it's a narcotic.  It contains codeine, or hydrocodone.  You have to sign your life away to the fine folks at Walgreens, in order to walk away from the counter with it.  They scan your driver's license as a record of the pass-off, so, you know, Big Brother up in Washington will prob have tabs on ya'.  (So much for running for a political office!)

Second, your Dr. won't put you on this medicine unless he's sure your bronchial infection is over, b/c this will keep you from coughing, so you can't have anymore cruddy green stuff left in there that needs to be coughed up.  You will most likely have to have been on a round of some kind of antibiotics before they'll go to this next step - I myself was working my way thru a Z-Pack, and therefore blessed with the 'good stuff'.

This is a gross topic, I know, but hey - we've ALL been thru something similiar at least once.  So, lets bond, and share, and heal, shall we?

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